What I’m about to discuss and describe is one of the most impactful moments of my life. Along with others, I’ve experienced magical things in my life that can only be described as miraculous but this one moment in my home temple and what followed has been the most impacting moment of my spiritual life this far.
It started a few years ago with 12 days of no talking, no entertainment or media, not even checking or sending emails, no books, just me meditating in silence and solitude with my thoughts. Then on the 7th day something amazing happened.
One night I was in my temple I went into a deep meditation. After a while I came out of the meditation, opened my eyes and looked directly at a large statue of Ganesha in the center of my temple.
The candles I had burning suddenly became large and bright and I could smell a beautiful incense type smell that I had never smelled before…
Suddenly, everything started to merge together and I slowly melted into the room and with everything in it. All the statues, candles, fire, water, air, the walls, the floor, everything…I then went into a dark void of nothingness while being conscious that it contained everything. I became everything and nothing at the same time. I was conscious but there was no thinking, not even when I was melting and merging into everything, I just let go and became All and everything. This lasted for a few minutes, then I slowly came back to a relaxed, blissful state of peacefulness, that lasted for a while.
The next day the peaceful state ended and I was freaked out over the experience. It would be weeks before I would go back into my temple.
The next night I was swimming in my pool with my wife and a large white, shining and silent star looking object floated in the sky above our house and pool, flashed a beam of light and then slowly faded away.
My wife and I went walking a few times in the park by our house and that is when I got the full effect. A few times on our walk, everything seemed to blur into One mass of energy, the trees, bushes, people, grass, insects, dirt, rocks, the sun, clouds, birds, I even felt as though I was even the microscopic stuff and the stuff in the sky beyond anything my senses could perceive. This lasted for seconds but it seemed like a long time and I cannot even really describe how it felt, totally beyond what words can even describe. There was no thought or emotion, just this complete nothingness of everything.
My wife and I went out a few times but didn’t talk and I stayed silent. I had a few interesting experiences…
One day we went to a busy restaurant and I was able to do it there. Lots of people were talking; it was loud, smells of food, colors and lots of motion. For brief seconds at a time, I felt as though I was One with everyone and everything in that restaurant, it was very, very cool.
At breakfast one morning I had another interesting experience.
An elderly woman sitting right next to me kept complaining and clearing her throat and then she started hacking and making gagging noises. My wife kept saying lets get up and move away from her but I just sat and ate and listened to her hack, gag and complain. It went through my mind; this woman is me and I’m this woman so I need to have love for her. I quieted my mind and was trying to heal her with light and love but I could feel my energy not being able to penetrate into her because of all the bitterness that was in her and coming out from her hacking and gagging.
Normally, this would have ruined my breakfast and I would have gotten up and moved and complained about it to my wife but that was not my experience.
It’s like everything and I mean everything, is just One big living cell and every cell within this One cell has its own universe…but all these different universes are just the One big universe. I think this is what God, Brahman or Cosmic Consciousness is…the totality of everything…
When I was quite and not talking, my nervous system became pure and slowed down…not filling my head with media, entertainment or news allowed an inner stream of consciousness to start tapping into itself, there is SO much knowledge and wisdom there. We are filled with some amazing stuff but it seems to get blocked out with all the noise we make and in the world around us. It’s like the more the senses become led by the material ego consciousness, the less the Self-consciousness has a chance to work.
Another time I just sat in my temple staring at Ganesha and this overwhelming feeling of love came over me but it was a pure type of love, not sentimental or emotional but even more powerful than that…again hard to describe but as I looked at Him… tears just started rolling down my cheeks for no reason and I just felt this love…
I then became intuitively directed to a Yogi named Dada Gavand through some research I was doing after my experiences. I had found that Dada Gavand had a similar experience, after reading his book Towards the Unknown. I came across someone else who was drawn to him and had a similar experience. He wrote:
“In May 1992, I came to know Dada Gavand at Yevoor, Thane. Seeing his simplicity and the authentic approach towards life, I fell in love with him. He became my friend, philosopher and guide, and my inner journey gathered momentum.
On the evening of July 13 the same year, I was meditating over a paragraph from his book Towards the Unknown. During the silent period, the watchfulness of the moment was sharp; a profound awareness was present. In that state, one felt the sound of rain shower lashing the earth. Sounds of chirping birds and children playing disappeared. In that sudden silence, exploded a new kind of vibrancy, so intense and overwhelming that it engulfed the entire personality. A new surge of energy washed away all residual thought so that nothing could sustain in that vibrancy. It was a kind of flux, intense and powerful and flames were ablaze to engulf ego-mind-personality completely. In those moments, godliness pervaded with no one to observe or witness. There was a new state of health that I had never experienced before, like drinking from the fountain of life that quenched thirst completely.
Outside, work and life continued but the ‘inner’ had been transformed. The struggle with thought had ended; questions dissolved. Meditation was happening on its own and the ‘vibrant silence’ felt.
On a beautiful morning of August 1993, I was going to work. The road was washed clean with the previous night’s rain. As the motorcycle attained the steady speed of 55 km/hr, every minute vibration of it was felt intensely. There was a sudden surge of expansion. There was no one in the body riding the bike; the bike was in me; the road, the trees and buildings were in me; birds flying up on the mountain, the mountain, itself were in me. This amazing feeling of expansion continued for some time. I reached the factory rejuvenated and in a very quiet mood.
One beautiful evening, standing on the terrace, seeing few openings of deep blue sky, the sun and dark clouds above the hills, made me ponder about how the divine plays hide and seek with a sadhak! In a short while, as awareness deepened, there was an expansion. The magnanimity of a gliding bird was enjoyed. Simultaneously, one felt the pulse of it, as if it was part of oneself. The communion with the bird was felt intensely, the joy of flying high up in the sky, shared. The experience made me understand the meaning of ‘kinship with nature’.
With a series of such experiences, the old was slowly getting washed away with cellular cleansing of the brain, often felt as mild to severe pain. It brought sensitivity and new understanding. The struggle with thought ended. Awareness deepened. The flame of attention reached its new heights. The inner experiment continued.
It was the night of August 27, 1994. The passive awareness was aware of itself while sleep-state of the organism continued. The wishful mind with its subtlest desire was not there. Ego had evaporated. It could not sustain itself without the food of thoughts. There was nobody aware of that state. The observer was not there. Just the state remained. Call it ‘deep-sleep-awareness’ or samadhi or stateless-state. Words are just the pointers; they fail to describe this kind of anubhuti.
The flowering of this experiment left me humble and silent. It took more than five years to come to a point where the expression and sharing started happening in a spontaneous manner with few friends at TAO (Total Approach Organization). The experiment continues…. It is an eternal journey…. There is no end to it. This is an eternal flow of pure love, ever fresh in each moment.” ~ By Suma Varughese
What I have discovered is that this evolution of consciousness is not an evolution but an evolution and de-evolution of karmic pulses of cause and effect, which is constantly creating and destroying itself through an infinite system of timeless void, we call space. When the cycle of the form the consciousness it has taken reaches its maximum potential in the void or space it’s in, it then transitions to a formless state based upon the consciousness and karmic pulse of its past form and creates another form in a void which creates a reality based upon its current projected state of consciousness.
The evolution or de-evolution of consciousness has nothing to do with past karmic pulses of cause and effect because the present evolving and devolving consciousness state is a combination of all incarnate karmic pulses of cause and effect. The Self then uses its sustained state of consciousness when it’s finished evolving and devolving in its sustained material projection.
This explains what Maya or the state of illusion is. It’s the projection of a material reality from a form of evolving and devolving consciousness that is sustaining itself inside this void of that we call time and space. What we think is real is just a 3D projection of a consciousness that is sustaining itself in this 3D projection and evolving and de-evolving within its Self.
The totality of All is called God, Brahman or Cosmic Consciousness. Therefore, we are All God, Brahman or Cosmic Consciousness. While this is an easy thing to say and many today do…to really understand it, One must have the experience of a sustained self-realization. I’m working on this…
We experience the totality of life as a birth, the sustained ego material projected state (life) and death (formless Self). What we call life or the sustained conscious state, is simply the form evolving, sustaining itself and de-evolving over a period of what we call time.
This is known in India as the cosmic dance of Shiva and it describes this state of consciousness, evolving, sustaining and de-evolving. It’s now obvious to me that in this incarnation I was introduced to this idea through the monistic and dualistic philosophy of Shaiva Siddhanta. This was not a religion that I believe I was meant to follow and fully embrace but to learn from for a time as I did. It’s interesting that the oldest religion and spiritual practice in the world contains what seems to be the correct ideas of the evolutionary path of consciousness in its sustained, evolution and de-evolution states. What is also interesting is that I did not make any of this connection while practicing Shaiva Siddhanta, it was only after the state of self-realization this came to me.
He watches the works of creation, lives in all things, watches all things. He is pure consciousness, beyond the three conditions of nature (Yajur Veda, Svetāśvatara Upanishad 6.11 UPM).”
He is the Supreme Brahman, the Self of all, the chief foundation of this world, subtler than the subtle, eternal. That thou art; thou art That. Atharva Veda, Kaivalya Upanishad 16. UPH, 930
Realize the Self always to be neither above nor below, nor on either side, not without nor within, but to be eternal and shining beyond the sublime world. Sarvajñānottara Āgama, Ātma Sakshatkara 29. RM, 108
That which is neither conscious nor unconscious, which is invisible, impalpable, indefinable, unthinkable, unnamable, whose very essence consists of the experience of its own self, which absorbs all diversity, is tranquil and benign, without a second, which is what they call the fourth state—that is the ātman. This it is which should be known. Atharva Veda, Māṇdūkya Upanishad 7. VE, 723
Subtlest of the subtle, greatest of the great, the ātman is hidden in the cave of the heart of all beings. He who, free from all urges, beholds Him overcomes sorrow, seeing by grace of the Creator, the Lord and His glory. Kṛishṇa Yajur Veda, Śvetāśvatara Upanishad 3.20. VE, 735
The all-devouring form looming above is Mahākāla, “Great Time.” The cobra around Naṭarāja’s waist is kundalinī Śakti, the soul-impelling cosmic power resident within all. Naṭarāja’s dance is not just a symbol. It is taking place within each of us, at the atomic level, this very moment. The Āgamas proclaim, “The birth of the world, its maintenance, its destruction, the soul’s obscuration and liberation are the five acts of His dance.” Aum Namaḥ Śivāya.
The symbolism of Śiva Naṭarāja is religion, art and science merged as one. In God’s endless dance of creation, preservation, destruction and paired graces is hidden a deep understanding of our universe. Aum Namaḥ Śivāya. ~ Satguru Sivaya Subramuniyaswami Dancing with Shiva
Please click on the book to learn more…
Intelligence Beyond Thought By Dada Gavand
In this book Dada Gavand describes his unique but simple method to attain enlightenment by constantly watching thoughts. Dada was greatly influenced by J. Krishnamurti, who himself did not prescribe any method except to watch one’s mind.
Towards the Unkown By Dada Gavand
Dada’s autobiography contains a full account of his awakening.